


Is he really going out with her?

by FailureArtist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Eternal teen drama, Jealousy, Love Triangle, Multi, dreambubble, vague discussed sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 18:53:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11237118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FailureArtist/pseuds/FailureArtist
Summary: Horuss is dating Aranea and Rufioh can't deal with it.





	Is he really going out with her?

The first time you got the nerve to tell Horuss you needed a break, he reluctantly agreed. To your shock, the next day you found him kissing Aranea. Well, maybe not the next day, you couldn't really tell what the next day is in the dreambubble, but it couldn't have been that long. Then he introduced Aranea to everyone as his matesprit. You hadn't decided yet if you were going to flush date anyone at all or just enjoy the bachelor afterlife and he'd already made a clear decision.

He had chosen a troll who was four steps ahead of you in the hemospectrum. Apparently he'd had his fill of “rustbloods” and had gone back to the CIP Club. You really had just been an experiment. Okay, so he couldn't have gotten with Damara or Mituna or Kankri, and Meulin is more a midblood, but it still smarted he'd rejected your people.

You were surprised he chose a doll instead of a bro. He had confessed to you he was something of a “man fetishist”. He had an aesthetic appreciation for female trolls and livestock (and he always made pains to note that included the Heiress and the Empress), but he couldn't muster any mating interest in them. You found it hard to wrap your think pan around that idea but you believed him. Yet here he was having sloppy makeouts with a very girly doll. Was he lying? Was that “man fetishist” sh*t just part of his well-planned seduction?

Despite the single-minded focus he had to get you back when you were with Damara, he quickly lost his focus. He got Aranea rather quickly, or rather she got him. You had thought she was a reticent doll but looking back you could see her laying the tracks for a matespritship with him. She certainly was always interested in how you and his relationship was going and you thought it was just her normal gossiping. She was a tricky one even if she never used her powers.

You wondered about her appeal. Maybe there was something you missed. To find out firsthand, you seduced one of the other Araneas, from a timeline only barely different from yours. You told her you'd have to keep it on the down-low to spare Horuss' feelings. You didn't actually believe he would care. You hoped he would care, but he wouldn't. Really, you didn't want to commit to anything.

You got her quick on the platform. It turned out she was mediocre. She did all this sh*t she must have picked up from books and movies that she must have thought were totally sexy but they totally weren't. She was more interested in performing than pleasuring. You sat back and watched while trying not to laugh.

Yet knowing your Aranea and your Horuss were likely having a terrible time on the platform didn't cheer you up. He still looked incredibly happy with her outside closed doors. It made you realize most of what you had with Horuss was physical. You could keep up with him in a fight and in a f*ck but not intellectually. Whenever he quoted troll Schopenhauer or troll Heidegger, your white eyes glazed over. You'd tried reading the original sources but you weren't good with anything but light novels. Aranea had seemingly read every book in existence and could bring up quotes to match.

You didn't find her a good conversationalist when it came to your more lowbrow interests. She didn't dismiss pop culture like Horuss, but her idea of engaging was learning the premise of an anime or manga and repeating it to you as if you didn't already own the boxset. She was ace at Fiduspawn, you had to admit.

After some time sizing her up (days? decades?), you decided to break off with her quietly. You were walking in a grove near her old hive when you saw your matesprit sitting on a stone park bench with her back facing you. Facing you was Aranea from your timeline. You could tell them apart because after some time in the dreambubble you can learn to tell people apart. It would be mad awkward if that didn't happen. You should have gone up, but you were frozen in place when you heard they were talking about you.

“...and after I carefully explain the twist ending, Rufioh's just like, 'yeah, that's what happened'. He didn't have anything else to say!” your matesprit concluded.

“You're lucky,” said Horuss' matesprit, “Horuss just won't shut up. He keeps interrupting me! It's like, you asked me my opinion on this book, let me finish it! And unfortunately, we could never talk about any movie. I think secretly he can't follow the plot of even a wiggler feature!”

“Rufioh isn't interested in anything but wiggler features.”

“He's not interested in anything...adult?” Horuss' matesprit raised an eyebrow.

“Are you asking me about our sex life?”

“Would it be so wrong if I did?”

“How about you go first?”

Horuss' matesprit blushed. “Well, he's this big.” She held her hands apart. They were a bit too far apart but maybe you had been subtracting an inch in your bitter mind's eye.

“Oh my god. Rufioh is this big.” Your matesprit moved her hands and you would have given anything to see her position.

Horuss' matesprit looked impressed at what she could see. “We've certainly lucked out in that field.”

“He does have size, but I wouldn't say I'm lucky. Rufioh just sits back all the time. He's the laziest lover! All he does give this peculiar smirk no matter what I do.”

You think that's unfair. You would pay her back if she asked, if you happened to be in the mood at the time. And how could you not smirk when she acts the way she does?

Horuss' matesprit replied, “Horuss does reciprocate all the time.”

“He can?”

“Thanks to his gloves and his less-superpowered tongue.”

“But is he any good with them?”

“His technique is superb. No complaints there. However, he's so mechanical! It's like he's not thinking about me, though of course I would never check.”

That did make sense if he was truly a man fetishist. You felt vindicated that Horuss and Aranea's sex life wasn't working. Though your sex life with Aranea wasn't working either, but that just meant it would be easier to dump her.

Now didn't seem the time, so you slowly walk away. However, you couldn't stop listening to the two Araneas.

“So we both have matesprit who don't care,” your soon-to-be-former matesprit said.

“I think we're the only ones who truly appreciate each other.”

“Can I kiss you?”

You turn around.

“I thought you'd never ask,” said Horuss' matesprit.

Then, as you watched, the two Araneas kissed. It started chaste at first but it soon got real sloppy. It was gross and sort of hot but mostly gross. You turned your head only to see Horuss next to you. You didn't ask where he came from. This wasn't the first time he'd popped out of nowhere. Hero of Void and all.

“Horuss?”

Horuss didn't look at you. “Yes, Rufioh?”

“Want to hook up again?”

Horuss turned his head to you. “Oh goodness, yes,” he said desperately.

“Let's go back to my place.”

So you went to your place and had some bangarang sex. You did reciprocate this time.

Afterwards, the Araneas took being dumped pretty well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
